another attempt at trying to maintain a blog outside of the Social Networks Part 5692

"Write Something" is what displays on the screen of the blogger app running on my tablet.. I am not so insane to try blogging without a Bluetooth keyboard... as much as I like toushscreens I can not type on them long form.. .. where to begin? .. that's always the difficult part.. and also not to bore, or repeat... I have made multiple attempts to keep a physical journal.. still have it.. and sometimes the gaps between entries can be a month to a year ... it's not procrastination.. or lack of disipline.. it's just get's forgotten in the massive amount of information I ingest throughout my days... the human mind can only handle so much short term information before it has to lose something less important to make room for that infomation that is much more valuable .. it's in us all.. some can hold more information short term than others... I sit at a desk that isn't mine (my girlfriends, and I don't own a desk, I have my work desk, a laptop stand @ home, and coffee shop tables.. I need nothing more) .. tunes from my phone are routed through a small radio while I use it as a hotspot to connect my tablet ... and reading my sister's blog about how she was writting more without internet during her move.. I thought to myself "Why the fuck haven't you been writting anything James?.. you have no good excuses" .. so here I am... rambling in search of something tangable to hold onto in this messy free flowing thought spillage... maybe that's the point?.. it is to some, and pointless to many I am sure.. but this isn't for them.. it's always been for me to look back at and think about where I was at that point in my like, and also who I was.. because believe me I have looked back and have seen more change in the last few years within myself then I imagined was possible in .. well.. anyone... it's a lot to take in sometimes.. ..... not having the pieces I wrote on hand.. and missing large chunks of my Writting (black mold in the carper of an old appartment I was living in soaked the pages of 2 of my notebooks full of rants, ramblings, prose, and art.. I was crushed.. and in some ways still am.. that was part of me in those pages) but I have more recent notebooks.. however none of them ever seam to be completely filled.. I have more notebooks than I need.. you can never have to many mediums right?.. yeah... you can when you don't use them effectively... so writing... why do I want to do it?.. from an engineering standpoint (even though I never completed my "Formal" engineeering schooling I am one on a broad scale.. ask anyone I work with) .. I look at it as a way to debug my inner coding... and apply hacks to get better preformance out of myself... .. I am an engineer of hacks... not just technical.. but life hacks, mechanical hacks.. whatever I can do to push something, myself inculded, to get the results I need... one of my favotites (especially working in support engineering as I do) is Social Engineering... the art of hacking people... it sounds sinister.. and it can be... an has .. the weakest link in the chain of any secure system is the user... but Social Enginnering can be done for survival, self protection, or to assist others.. without being Malicious in the process... you have to know the boundries of each.. because you can easily find yourself in dark territory if you are not paying attention to details ... anyway... debugging my own code... what did I do, why did I do it.. how can I do better next time.. sounds simple I know.. but most people don't analyze their expeiances in order to make similar ones better in the future... granted I have had some of my "hacks" to make it better blow up in my face before.. but that was a valuable lesson on not using that hack for that identical situation (or person) again ... social engineering is as much about hacking people as it is about hacking yourself.. to adapt to anything and everything that comes your way.. mentally... and it requires profound resilience.. something i still work very hard to achieve... Emotions and expectations are resiliencies biggest enemies... (looking at what I have written I realize this has no real form to it but fuck it.. if you have made it this far maybe you'll come back for more?) .. anyway I think I have spilled all I have for the time being... lets see how long it takes me to make another entry... anyone wanna place bets?...

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